Rock
Scissors
Fuck
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
