Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize