Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
