What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize