Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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