I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
