Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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