I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Randomize
