i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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