history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
