did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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