there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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