I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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