Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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