you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
As shirtless as possible
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
