the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize