i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Randomize
