My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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