just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
