Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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