4 words: hood of his car
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
