If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
