no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
