But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
