Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
