Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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