That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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