Don't make out with my wife yet
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
