ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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