My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
