Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
