You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Randomize
