She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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