i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
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