when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
