so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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