she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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