if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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