I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
