so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
