I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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