Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
