Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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