the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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