so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
