How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
nutella sex= disaster
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
