doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
