One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
