I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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