I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Randomize
