He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
