guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
