I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
you had me at cake vodka
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
