Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
