if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize