Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize