His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
