I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
