He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
