I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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