he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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