Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Drunk is not a location!
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
