Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
