I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
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