about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize