think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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